More puns …

February 20, 2015 | Leave a Comment

Because I know you all love them:

  • I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
  • I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
  • When chemists die, they barium.
  • How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
  • Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  • This girl said she recognized me from the Vegetarian Club, but I’d never met herbivore.
  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
  • I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  • My medical records said I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.
  • A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
  • PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.
  • Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
  • Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
  • Energizer Bunny arrested: charged with battery.
  • A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
  • How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  • What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
  • I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • Broken pencils are pointless.

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