Travel humor

September 6, 2009 | 4 Comments

Thanks to Dick Jordan for forwarding this—undocumented—travel humor, supposedly offered by an airline ticket agent who works in Washington, D.C.:

1. I had a congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a congressman’s staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ”I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.”

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ”Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.”

His response: click.

3. A senior congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, “Don’t lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!”

4. I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife who asked, ”Is it possible to see England from Canada?”

I said, ”No.”

She said, ”But they look so close on the map.”

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a one-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ”I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.”

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ”Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?” I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’

He replied, ”Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight. I think that’s very rude!”

After putting him on hold for a minute, I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is FAT (Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..

8. An aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ”Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?”

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman congressman who asked, ”How do I know which plane to get on?”

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ”I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.”

10. A senator called and said, ”I need to fly to Pepsi Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?”

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ”Yeah, whatever, smarty!”

11. A senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa.

“Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.”

I double-checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ”Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!”

12. A New Jersey congressman called to make reservations, ”I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.”

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ”Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”

“Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ”I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Rhino anywhere.”

”The man retorted, ”Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is.

Check your map!”

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ”You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?”


The reply? ”Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.”


Comments

4 Comments so far

  1. Flyaway Cafe’s Travel Favorites 9-14-09 : Fly Away Cafe - Travel Tips and Destination Suggestions from a Flight Attendant on September 13, 2009 7:48 am

    […] Travel Writer News shares some airline humor.  Although many of these have been around for awhile, you’ll likely find a new one to chuckle at. […]

  2. David Sanger on September 19, 2009 2:21 pm

    According to snopes.com this is an urban legend that has circulated for years in one form or another:

    “This item about ridiculous questions asked of travel agents by “clueless” Congressmen is yet another instance of an old bit of generic humor’s being modified to apply to contemporary politicians. We’ve collected examples of this list of howlers dating from as back as far as 1998,”

    Trip Witless on snopes.com

  3. Laurie on September 22, 2009 10:38 am

    Thanks for checking this out and letting us know, David.

  4. Flyaway Cafe’s Travel Favorites 9-14-09 | Traveling with MJ on September 17, 2010 5:55 pm

    […] Travel Writer News shares some airline humor.  Although many of these have been around for awhile, you’ll likely find a new one to chuckle at. […]

Name (required)

Email (required)

Website

Speak your mind

  • Receive Travel Writers News updates via email

  • Upcoming Events

    October 2018
    M T W T F S S
    1234567
    891011121314
    15161718192021
    22232425262728
    293031EC
  • Available in August, 2017

    I'm thrilled that it's getting rave reviews! Order your copy of Your Crocodile has Arrived from Book Passage, and I'll be happy to sign it.  
  • Winner of 4 Literary Awards in 2017

    Lost Kidnapped Eaten Alive!Order your copy of Lost, Kidnapped, Eaten Alive from Book Passage, and I'll be happy to sign it.
  • Get Occasional Updates

    You can also sign up for my personal Laurie McAndish King mailing list for occasional updates about readings and events.